17. Public Service Broadcasting - The War Room

1.  If War Should Come

2.  London Can Take It

3.  Spitfire

4.  Dig For Victory

5.  Waltz For George

Hold on to your hats, this one's contemporary. The band's shtick is that they take old public service broadcasts and propaganda videos, while playing cool music over the top. They describe themselves as "learning the lessons of the past through the music of the future". Spitfire is the pick of the tracks here (and rightly won BBC 6 Music's Rebel Playlist), but you really ought to listen to the EP all the way through. Their website allows you to download their first EP for free here, though please do donate. And you can get all the songs from this EP on Youtube if you're unsure about downloading. In fact, why are you even reading this? There's a far better review here.

2012, Test Card Recording

16. The Hitchers - You Can Only Love Someone

1. You Can Only Love Someone
2. Strachan

You Can Only Love Someone So Much, But You Can Hate Them All The Way To Hell (to give it its full name) is a slightly above-par, fairly ignorable two-and-a-half-minute pop song. Strachan, however, is one of the greatest songs - no, things - anyone has ever done or thought of or thought about thinking of. The Hitchers call Half Man Half Biscuit an inspiration, but this, as far as I know, is the only Hitchers song worthy of our Birkenhead pals. It is the greatest song about football. Let there be no further debate about it. The lyrics are wonderful - She said what's that you're watching? It's a programme about art. She said a programme about art? I said a programme about art - and the inevitable descent into a wall of noise is pleasing. There's some more Hitchers stuff out on that Youtube website (all of it approximately 6/10), a Peel session you can no doubt download from a dubious Russian torrent site somewhere, and a couple of albums and irritatingly-titled EPs.

1997, Murgatroid Independent Recording Company

15. Nicky & The Dots - Never Been So Stuck

1. Never Been So Stuck
2. Linoleum Walk

Some upbeat, two-and-a-half-minute pop-punk that apparently did quite well in the Indie Charts. The band was formed in 1977 in Brighton by Nick Dwyer and Chris D'Ouseley (art students, naturally) - they released this one single, had three tracks on Vaultage 78, did one Peel session and presumably split up. Honestly that's all I can find on this band, the internet is massively overrated. I think what I like most is that the band name follows the wildly underused "x & the y" formula, but the songs are alright too. Superior b-side, actually. Nicky and at least one other dot were also in a band called Louder Animal Group, who independently released a record I don't own and probably won't buy.

1979, Small Wonder Records

14. The Dodgems - Lord Lucan Is Missing

1. Lord Lucan Is Missing
2. Gotta Give It Up

Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan, went missing in 1974 after having killed his childrens' nanny. He was officially declared dead in 1999 (which seems arbitrary), although plenty of loonies and fanatics have sighted him since. Some people are obsessed with him. The Dodgems, who began as "Jet-Slag", wrote this song four years later (a far superior version to this appears on Vaultage 78, and can be found on that Youtube here. Also, a weird cover version by Black Box Recorder), and made it their second and final single. Drummer Charlie Zuber said the song was about "how irrelevant the news is to our lives. It really doesn't matter whether Lord Lucan is missing or not." I was surprised by the strength of the b-side here, a song about smoking, but it's nothing on Lucan. There might be a few crackles on the track, because it came straight from the ol' vinyl (remember that, folks?).

1980, Criminal Records