29. Lime Headed Dog - Ronnie O'Sullivan

1. Ronnie O'Sullivan

Poor old Mick Price, the Nuneaton snooker player who never accomplished anything. Best known for sitting down, and watching Ronnie O'Sullivan clear the table in the quickest maximum of all time. This is an incredible break, one which only Ronnie could produce (good quality video here), and it was only a matter of time before it was set to an avant-garde, and oddly moving soundtrack. If you're not a fan of snooker, it might be useful to know a bit about Ronnie O'Sullivan: perhaps the most talented snooker player ever, he accomplished far less than he should have. He was a major championship winner at 17, and could play with the speed and flair that made Jimmy White so popular. Crucially, though, Ronnie wasn't a bottler and went on to win four World Championships, playing right-handed and left-handed. He is, of course, completely mad, a perfectionist and highly self-critical. His dad was five years into an 18 year stretch for murder when he made this break, which I'm sure didn't help. Ronnie threatened to give up the game every year, before finally doing so in June. He suffers from clinical depression and has had problems with drugs. The song only works with the video, so set aside seven minutes and listen to it - don't just put it on in the background. I don't know anything else about Lime Headed Dog, but I love them for producing this masterpiece.

Thanks to @HodgkinsonJohn for the suggestion

28. Attempted Moustache - Superman

1. Superman
2. No Way Out

The kids of today will find this difficult to comprehend, but there was, in the early 80s, a time before Half Man Half Biscuit. I mean, they literally didn't exist. It was mostly darkness. They would later explode into existence, like the universe itself, forming from the remnants of other short-lived New Wave bands based in Birkenhead (here my analogy falls down). Attempted Moustache (along with Venom, Split Gut and North of Watford) were one of these bands. This single, their only one, was released in 1980. Simon Blackwell (Biscuits guitarist 1984-94) and Paul Wright (drummer 1984-93) were both members of this excellently-named band, but with the lyrical genius of Blackwell's brother, Nigel, missing, this is a pretty ordinary release. However, it is an interesting piece of history, if you're me or very like me.

1980, Skeleton Records

27. Swell Maps - Read About Seymour

1. Read About Seymour
2. Ripped & Torn
3. Black Velvet

Read About Seymour was the first single by Swell Maps, one of those influential yet widely ignored groups. I'd only ever heard of them through Television Personalities' Part-Time Punks, which mentions this single - three songs and five minutes later and I'm already in love with this band. Given that this single was recorded and released before Shot By Both Sides, you could say it was proto-post-punk, and Swell Maps went on to do some weirder, more avant-garde stuff. All three of their Peel sessions are on Youtube, here, here and here, as well as their entire second album, here. The brothers who formed Swell Maps (Epic Soundtracks and Nikki Sudden - not their real names) are both dead, but bassist Jowe Head continues to release solo material and joined Television Personalities for a while in the eighties. That's all I got, enjoy your 90 second art punk.

1977, Rather Records

Thanks to @HodgkinsonJohn for the suggestion

26. Angelic Upstarts - The Murder Of Liddle Towers

1. The Murder Of Liddle Towers
2. Police Oppression

This is, I promise, a rare foray into Oi! territory. Liddle Towers was an amateur boxer from Durham who was beaten to death by the police ("justifiable homicide"). Angelic Upstarts are a socialist punk rock band, still going, defying the Oi! stereotype of racist skinheads. I'm of the opinion that just before Punk died, it gave birth to the intelligent, charming Post-punk and its evil twin Oi!, and that the latter ought to be ignored or derided. Especially the Skrewdriver contingent. However, this single is the exception; angry lyrics ("he was drunk and disorderly and now he's dead"), an important message and adequately imaginative music combining to produce a surprisingly powerful song. Police Oppression is just not as good, nowhere near as intelligent or interesting, and by now Angelic Upstarts have more than made their point. Anti-fascism and leftist politics aside, I don't think the band ever did anything else worth praising.

1978, Dead Records

Best of 2012

In a year without a Fall album, what could there possibly be to celebrate?

KENNEDY (TOQUIWA)
I saw Toquiwa support The Wedding Present in Camden about a month ago. I preferred them to Gedge's popular beat combo, who all look a bit too old and decrepid to still be singing about one girl. Toquiwa's album, which I bought at the gig, ends with this cover of one of the aformentioned indie miserablists masterpieces, Kennedy, which I've probably listened to every day since. Irritatingly, that was their last UK tour date, but if they return I recommend seeing them and their crazy stage antics.

HUSBANDS (SAVAGES)

Savages are more traditional post-punk, Husbands sounds like it could've been released in 1980. Which is obviously what we all want. Savages have clearly listened to Holiday In Cambodia and a bit of the Banshees. They did a set for that lickspittle Jools Holland earlier this year, on Youtube here.

SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (PERFECT HAIR FOREVER)

This is a bit more left-field. I just stumbled across Perfect Hair Forever on the internet somewhere. Research suggests that it's one anonymous bloke in Auckland who needs to get out more. There's some more stuff from PHF on Bandcamp, but this is the best one out there.

IT'S OK JOHN-JOE (DEXYS)
The first Dexys Midnight Runners (now simply Dexys) album in nearly 30 years came out in June. There's nothing great on there, but this is good. If you ignore the bits where he's whinging and bullshitting, which admittedly comprise a fairly large section of the song, the singing is beautiful. Then there's an upbeat and unnecessary bit at the end, which is mildly catchy but irrelevant. Jesus, though, it's an improvement on the ending to this early version (from 6:20).

THE BURSTER (THE NIGHTINGALES)
I wish I knew why The Nightingales aren't celebrated in the same way as The Fall. Pigs on Purpose, released in the same year as Hex Enduction Hour, is as good as anything Mark E Smith ever did or said (except when he said this). Their latest album, No Love Lost, has no amazing stand-out tracks but works brilliantly as a whole. Starting with the line "I was as dry as a dead girl's cunt in the desert", it's not an easy listen, but by track five you're in prog-punk heaven. Buy it.

SPITFIRE (PUBLIC SERVICE BROADCASTING)
I really really love this song. This is my favourite song of the year, and with a cool video to boot. Spitfire appears on The War Room EP, and is the only reason for buying it. That bit where the guitar comes in at about 1:20 is so great. Lovely music goodness.

25. Les Cox Sportifs - Total Straightness

1. The Hand & The Heed (The Heel, The Teat, The Hair & The Beak Grew)
2. Wrong Side
3. It Gave Back

"We party to distract from the pointlessness of life, and to remind ourselves of the optimism of living. Viva autonomia!" Les Cox Sportifs, "a politically correct band from the North East", play a punk, folk, rock 'n' roll blend. To date they've done two albums (Never Heed and Scheiß Mit Reis). I've not heard the second but the first is excellent. This EP was released between the two, and you can download it for a very reasonable £2 here. Although, weirdly, the tracks are only 50p individually. It's been two years since their last album, but their Facebook page tells me that they will soon "unearth a keech load of new sh*t". The links I've put up are just to their Bandcamp page, because I couldn't be arsed to upload them to Youtube. Enjoy!

2009, Clunk Click Records.

24. Pere Ubu - 30 Seconds Over Tokyo

1. 30 Seconds Over Tokyo
2. Heart Of Darkness

It was about time I acquainted myself with Pere Ubu, founders of "avant-garage" and influential art-rockers; so that's just what I did, working my way through their entire singles discography in one sitting (I don't have a job). They started 37 years ago, in Cleveland, and have never had any actual success. Only David Thomas remains from the original line-up, while 12 others have left - impressive, but obviously not a patch on The Fall. I tend to pride myself on my enjoyment of tiring, attritional music, but even I found this lot tough to handle. 30 Seconds Over Tokyo I've always known and had a soft spot for - it's about six minutes of noise, although you can discern a melody if you listen hard - and the rest of their output is well worth a listen to as well. Incredible to think that this came out a year before New Rose and punk rock. The b-side, Heart Of Darkness, is just as "fun" - if you like the same thing done over and over again, or The Fall, then the commercially nonviable Pere Ubu are definitely for you. I'm no expert but I'd also recommend Non-alignment Pact from The Modern Dance (1977). I have so much catching up to do with this band, I hope the neighbours like experimental art-punk. Watch out for their new album, Lady From Shanghai, due out in January. "No-one can come close to matching our loss to longevity ratio."

1975, Hearthan
Thanks to @ackleite for the suggestion